mollyfrances

WHAT THE HELL. THAT’S CRAZY. THAT SUCKS -_- it’s interesting to hear stories about ppl living w/ ppl you don’t know. but it sucks you had to go through that shit. my gosh kitchen cop is insane. :(

I KNOW RIGHT! I USUALLY GET TO LAUGH AT CRAZY SHIT LIKE THIS NOT EXPERIENCE IT!

I think I’m going to write a book about this crazy shit.

the saga of the psycho roommate

So last October, sporting a new job, and a commitment to school, I put on my big girl panties and got off the tit.  I moved to luxurious new digs in good ole Kentwood, MI.  10 minute drive from school, and 20 minute drive from work.  Great huh?

I was now living in my very own room.  A nice little 20x15 ft hole with horrible wallpaper and bad lighting, but hey…IT WAS MINE!  I now had two roommates.  We shall call them Kitchen Cop and Sanka.  Which is convenient because that’s what I called them to all my friends.  Here’s why…Kitchen cop, real name well, it’s the internet so Kitchen cop has the biggest bedroom (being that it was her house, fair play) which was situated right off of the kitchen.  She enjoys staring at you while you make your food and awkwardly coughing ALL THE TIME.  Sanka is aptly named due to her resemblance to the beloved character brought to life by Doug E. Doug in the classic Cool Runnings.  I have no problem with Sanka worth mentioning, she just really looks like Sanka.  

A little awkwardness is to be expected when you live with people you don’t know.  With my slight self diagnosed agoraphobia (read: crippling awkardness) this meant I did laundry at my parents to avoid having to walk through Kitchen Cop’s room, and rarely ate at home.  

My social life was blossoming.  I had friends from work and school who kept me occupied.  I was really only in my hole to sleep, and most nights I did so at Boyfriend’s anyway.  I paid my rent on time, and minded my own business. However, I was living hand to mouth, and knew that moving back in with my parents would be my most fiscally responsible choice.  So I gave my notice.  It went like this (via text):

Molly:   Just so you know, this will be my last month in the house.  I’ve really enjoyed living there! (read: you’re a psycho who stares)My family just needs more help than I can give them living in gr. (Grand Rapids)

Molly:  I can be out by June 1st (a/n: I moved in on the 15th of October, so my rent period is a little weird) of (sic) that’s easier for you!

Kitchen Cop:  Oh…the lease says 30 days notice (a/n: notice was given on the 16th of May 30 DAYS prior to the 15th of June)  Had I known u were lieaving, I would’ve asked (Sanka) 2 (sic) leave 2 & rented out the whole house, 2 a family…it would’ve been easier 4 me than finding seperate (sic) people all the time.

It’s now May.  I’ve paid my rent on time since October, and this is where things take a turn for the psychotic.  

I recently travelled to Tokyo.  Not that that matters too much, I just like rubbing in the fact that I travel for free thanks to Delta ;) but it may have some bearing on the situation.  On Thursday I wake up to a call from my bank (People who do Not Care) that someone had used my card in Georgia.  Used it enough that it WIPED OUT my account.  Here’s what transpired.

Molly:  Apparently someone’s hacked my bank account and cleaned it out.  I’ve signed all the paperwork so I should get the money back in a couple of days.  I will be able to get $100 for you tomorrow though.

Kitchen Cop:  That’s 2 bad.  Plz leave it in my room, if I’m not home.  I have a fairly busy day tomorrow but need whatever pymt (payment) u get me as soon as u can get it 2 me preferably b4 I leave 4 the weekend @4ish. 

So I get home at 8 from work and find an eviction notice with a note on it saying “I need your rent to pay bills :( your deposit is not to be used for rent”

my rent is THREE DAYS LATE.  THREE!  not two weeks, not a month behind THREE DAYS.  so I’m fucking pissed.  Even more so when my curious cat is nowhere to be found.  I figure he’s down in the basement and head for Kitchen Cop’s room.  The door is locked.  So I go around to the bathroom.  Door also locked.  I figure it’s a long shot, but the outside door?  FUCKING LOCKED.  This psycho crazy lady leaves for 2 days, evicts me, and locks my cat in her room.  So obviously I pick the lock.  Grab my cat and call my Mom.  Needless to say I’ll be out BEFORE Monday.  Packing up my shit now.  Moving out tomorrow.  DEUCES BITCH.

Sorry, but not sorry about the rant I’m about to post.  Get your scroll finger ready.